i'm still here, alive and complete, after 2005. perhaps i've changed, perhaps not. but definitely, 2005 will go down in my personal history as the year that challenged my faith(yay pa-profound). i wouldnt say that i glided easily past those bumps and dead ends; i have scars now, but still i must and can say that i'm still here just because of grace.

and now for the trivias :)

2005 took me to the ride of my life, working wherever projects were available - makati, katipunan, home  - and for the latter part of the year, novaliches.

i've learned to sing in public videokes this year, a big change from singing in private (i e bathroom). not that i've really learned how to sing, i just managed to tell myself, "this is a large bathroom, this is a large bathroom.."

2005 became a fruitful year for pitikbulag productions, and thank God for miraculously patient co-workers, i'm still part of that family. i'm looking forward to making our dream projects this year with you guys. guy and girls i mean. ;)

2005 taught me how to play happy bday to you and joyful joyful we adore thee on  violin.and of course i look forward to playing my favorite songs this year :D

2005 made me open myself more to people; i've even shown some my drawings right from my doodlebook, which a year ago would've been as good as showing my private parts.

2005 took me closer to my family, for i've realized that sooner or later things will change (and indeed changes are starting; soon i'll have a niece/nephew)- now is the most precious time to spend with them.

2005 gave me songs whose lyrics i'd nibble word to word everyday

this year's top films seen on dvd courtesy of quiapo: heartlands, you and me and everyone we know, and  howl's moving castle. i'll watch them all over again with you anytime =)

2005 taught me how to affirm myself and what i believe and what i am, though i forget everything in the morning

i've met a lot of friends this year - melai, menans, mambing, jeptan,leo, angel, kuya guard,manong guard,mr. guard and the rest of the wonderful people of public affairs dept of abc5, boss jim who've taught me a lot and affirmed me about the real things that i want to do and mean so much to me, beewai my online friend, ate mima and kuya leo and their bright young jakejake, and many others.

sigh, this year taught me how to love from a distance, and soon i'll have the answer to the magic question,  whether those who attempt to cross the line of friendship do make it back.

i've learned that no matter how you want to be honest,transparent,vocal, blatant about everything, you shouldnt expect people to respond the same way. time is always the ready solution. and you wont always have time.

i've learned that smiling at strangers does have a magical effect on your day.

this year, whenever i go to public places alone(i e mall etc) i've humored myself by waving, smiling, and making faces at babies/children when their parents are turned away from me. (i usually try it on the escalator)

eli's girlfriend saw me waving goodbye to a dog and i had a very hard time making an excuse.

this year i went up the prayer mountain alone.

2005 found me alone up that mountain, in a field of makahiyas, and i spent an afternoon alone trying to make them all fold up. success. hey i was praying while doing that.  

i know, this is becoming a painfully long entry, so i must end this for now.

basta, itong taong ito, kung saan saan ko binigay ang puso ko; kung saan saan ko rin napulot.

ayos lang.

basta ang mahalaga, buo pa rin ako. puro peklat puro lamat, pero alam kong habang ginagawa ko to, mas lumalaki ang kapasidad kong magmahal. at tange, hindi lang tungkol sa lovelife and tinutukoy ko.

ipagdasal nyo ko ha, ipagdadasal ko rin kayo.

happy new dear year everyone!!